Directory of Humor Blogs
Owld Misther Bucket and Olivia Spider Embark on a Journey
Owld Misther Bucket and Olivia Spider were not exactly idling their time away. However, that is not to say they were headed in the right direction or that their endeavours had accomplished very much of anything. What with all the tears (from both of them) and crying over spilt milk, as well as the copious blotting up on the part of her sweet silken handkerchiefs (which were always so willing to oblige), the two of them had managed to end up completely swaddled in strands and knots of web. In fact (and to tell the truth), they resembled nothing so much as a gigantic cocoon (or perhaps a meringue).
Being for all practical purposes immobilised and unable to jump up and down in a useful manner, Owld Misther Bucket took to concentrating extremely hard on philosophical questions and the business at hand. “Who am I?” he sobbed, “and where am I going?”
“You’re right here with me,” replied Olivia Spider from under his feet, “and we’re going nowhere, at least not immediately.”
Owld Misther Bucket thought all of that information was very useful, and decided he might try concentrating even harder. “Give me a moment,” he said in a hopeful tone of voice, “and I’ll get us out of here.”
With that, he thought and thought and thought some more (much to Olivia’s discomfort; what with him starting to sweat unbecomingly she feared she might drown before she had lived another minute). Be that as it may, he closed his eyes even tighter and strained to collect his thoughts. Slowly but surely his ancient heart started rotating round his body (all things being possible for zinc buckets, though not plastic ones, since they are known to be heartless and prone to disintegration at odd moments and without warning). Round and round it went, and faster and faster, until it was fairly zinging along at a zonking pace. Owld Misther Bucket’s head kept going at such a speed, and even faster still until, quite unexpectedly, the meringue (with the two of them in it) took off like a top and disappeared into the sky.
Owld Misther Bucket and Olivia Spider were not exactly idling their time away. However, that is not to say they were headed in the right direction or that their endeavours had accomplished very much of anything. What with all the tears (from both of them) and crying over spilt milk, as well as the copious blotting up on the part of her sweet silken handkerchiefs (which were always so willing to oblige), the two of them had managed to end up completely swaddled in strands and knots of web. In fact (and to tell the truth), they resembled nothing so much as a gigantic cocoon (or perhaps a meringue).
Being for all practical purposes immobilised and unable to jump up and down in a useful manner, Owld Misther Bucket took to concentrating extremely hard on philosophical questions and the business at hand. “Who am I?” he sobbed, “and where am I going?”
“You’re right here with me,” replied Olivia Spider from under his feet, “and we’re going nowhere, at least not immediately.”
Owld Misther Bucket thought all of that information was very useful, and decided he might try concentrating even harder. “Give me a moment,” he said in a hopeful tone of voice, “and I’ll get us out of here.”
With that, he thought and thought and thought some more (much to Olivia’s discomfort; what with him starting to sweat unbecomingly she feared she might drown before she had lived another minute). Be that as it may, he closed his eyes even tighter and strained to collect his thoughts. Slowly but surely his ancient heart started rotating round his body (all things being possible for zinc buckets, though not plastic ones, since they are known to be heartless and prone to disintegration at odd moments and without warning). Round and round it went, and faster and faster, until it was fairly zinging along at a zonking pace. Owld Misther Bucket’s head kept going at such a speed, and even faster still until, quite unexpectedly, the meringue (with the two of them in it) took off like a top and disappeared into the sky.
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